When you’re getting ready for a first date, you might be wondering if you’ll end the night with a kiss. It’s normal to think about this beforehand, but don’t let it stress you out too much. Our advice is to do what feels right for you.
According to Wale Okerayi, a licensed counselor, it’s totally fine to kiss on the first date if you both want to. “Society makes us think everything has to happen in a certain way. But if there’s mutual respect and agreement, go for it,” she says.
If you want some tips on dealing with the anticipation of a first date kiss, we’ve put together a quick guide. Following advice from experts like Okerayi and Sheril Kirshenbaum, who wrote “The Science of Kissing”, here’s how to decide if and when you should kiss at the end of your date.
How to Decide If You Should Kiss on a First Date
If you’re not sure about kissing on the first date, think about this: Kissing can help you see if there’s a spark between you and your date. Studies have also found that kissing is a good thing in adult relationships—it’s linked to happiness and commitment.
If you’re okay with kissing on the first date, here are some simple ways to figure out if it’s a good idea.
Check if you and your date have a connection.
If you’re flirting and feeling a special spark with your date, it might be a good idea to end the night with a romantic kiss. Kirshenbaum also says, “The more you look forward to a kiss, the more your brain releases feel-good chemicals.” This means if you’ve been flirting and feeling romantic chemistry, a kiss at the end of the date could be amazing.
Decide if a kiss will show your date you’re interested.
After a fun and exciting first date, giving a great kiss can be a nice way to end the evening on a high note. It might even leave both of you excited to see each other again in the future.
Just a heads up: Even if you kiss on the first date, it doesn’t guarantee you’ll have another date with this person. Sadly, some people might kiss you goodbye but then never call or text again. Some people who date a lot might kiss you now but then disappear later on.
Trust your instincts.
When you’re deciding whether to kiss your date, listen to what your gut is telling you. If you really want to kiss them and you think they’re okay with it, go for it. Just make sure to respect their boundaries while following your instincts.
When to Kiss on a First Date
Every first date is different, so it’s up to you to decide if you want to kiss your date or not. According to Okerayi, kissing usually happens naturally when the moment feels right. However, some things like where you are or the weather can affect when it might happen.
But really, trying to plan when and where to kiss on the first date isn’t very realistic. The best thing is to trust yourself and not worry too much about finding the perfect moment. As you go on more dates and meet more people, you’ll get better at knowing when it’s right to kiss someone and when it’s not.